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If you are early in your marriage and are encountering problems, it’s possible to recover. Dave recommends the books The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Hold Me Tight by Susan Johnson for struggling couples. These two books will lead you through the necessary steps to recover a good marriage. However, if couples wait the average of seven years to reach out, maladaptive patterns are likely to have become ingrained. Dave believes most couples at this stage need professional guidance to regain the happiness they’ve lost.
It’s rarely too late for marriage counseling. Dave says, “There are two patterns I see often in relationships. The first is the couple who’ve been married for a long time, are unhappy, and simply continue to live in a sub-par relationship. The second is couples who’ve only been married for a short time and are too quick to give up. They don’t realize that conflict is a natural occurrence, and when navigated successfully, brings a richness and depth to relationships.” Counseling can help couples learn to deal with conflict in a healthy and productive way.
Kenosis marriage counselor, Dan Miller, adds, “It’s not too late to go to marital counseling. As long as there is still a willingness to try and all hope is not gone, then I think counseling can be beneficial.”
If you’re in a relationship that’s lost its shine and you are stuck in negative patterns of interaction, marriage counseling can be a life-changing experience. Dave mentions, “I’ve worked with over a thousand couples, and many felt like they’d lost all connection and hope. It’s been a wonderful journey for me to help lead couples back to great communication, shared goals, and intimacy. About 85% of the couples I’ve worked with stay together and have reclaimed an extraordinary relationship.”